/ Wednesday, June 29, 2005
ARGH. BUGGY OFF... WHY CAN'T I FIND SOMEONE REAL THAT BOTH OF US CAN SHARE FEELS AND THOUGHTS TOGETHER!!!! WHY CAN'T I GET SOMEONE THAT CAN CLAM ME DOWN WHEN I'M IN THE MOST SADDED MOOD!!
WHY IS HE TAKEN?
AGAIN AND AGAIN!
WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN??
I'M REALLY TIRED... TIRED OF SEEING HIM WITH THE OTHER HIM...
TIRED OF HEARING UMOURS ABOUT HIM..
TIRED OF TELLING MYSELF I'M NOT INTERESTED IN HIM!!!
WHY!!!
I'M SUCH A JERK!!!
I HATE MYSELF!!
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
12:16 AM
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/ Monday, June 27, 2005
sigh...
don't even try it..
i'm really sad..
that someone made me real insulted..
call me GAY and stuff, SO WHAT IF I AM ONE? you're just jealous is it?
I was talking to leisher and you intercept me... and call me names?
i hate this kind of people... no respect and no manners..
anyways... i'm still single... sigh... single me... been dreaming of nothing..
my mind is now down....very sad mind i have...
i wish i can be a perfect guy who have a perfect boyfriend...
i'm so not perfect..
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
7:36 PM
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If YOU have HOMOPHOBIA then bug off lor... sit away from me la... fucking jibye... insult only... wow lor... i'm "so" insulted..
hahaha wait till i bitch someone lor..
wahaha..... spies... wtf are they for???
spy on jibye is it??
kns..... such homophobia humans... they should just bug off.....
homophobia... bleahzz..... i'm not scared... tell lor... you think i dunno what you're typing??
say i'm saying bad things about him lor...
Some bitch just think i got nothign to do... just log in to my blog to bitch... hahahaha...
lame... what for do that... i rather log in to mIRC and spam the number..
spam on some Channels... and i don't have to dirty my hands... while others do that for me... SPIES... pui.
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
2:46 PM
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/ Friday, June 24, 2005
i'm going to stand firm in the crowds..
no matter what they say about me or my past... i still gonna live on... it's my life anyways..
tonight... Irene will be born.... the ebil bitchy me they found... the flirtacious me..
i'll never talk about my past... but talk about the present... because what done is done... we can't turn back the clock..
anyways... i miss everyone... my coughing turns into horror when i can't really speak today... must be my chie chie voice use too long le...
lang, thanks for your mp3s and those clips you sent..
it's funny and cute esp. the one night is bangkok(beijing) :P
no matter what, i just wanna buy what i fancy... what they say does not have to hurt me..
maybe i'm just too bitchy/flirty/act cute... and sensitive about how people talk behind my back or hurt my feelings..
sorry if i did hurt yours..
but *you should know... i care about you and uknoewho..
if you don't want me to care just say so..
cause i wanna make a agreement... if don't bother about you and youknoewho..
will stil be friends... or maybe... lower grade friends?
bah... what am i doing?
grading my own friends?
such bitch... pui at ownself..
yeah... yeah right... you guys care for me.. pui
guess what?
i've been waiting for your sms... to apologise.. because i went theer and you said it was canceled... make me go all the way and then u said... can't you be responsible for a time... you hurt me too far..
And you guys... lying to me... saying you guys going out to eat?
where did you guys end up? why didn't you reply my last sms to you?
i called you and youknoewho..
who didn't you two pick up?
AND DON'T ANYHOW SAY I (FUCKING) FLIRT OR BITCH AROUND.
i don't (fucking) flirt or bitch random people... i flirt for fun... not sex..
it's a joke silly...
since when i bitch someone till she die?
what i bitch i also forgot..
you bitches should be ashame for remebering who bitched you...
unless the person is really that kind of fucker..
i hate that kind..
still i hope to get a scandal or a true loved dear..
you know?? hahaha ever since i became a bitch i've been looking for a dearest one..
but too bad... nice ones are taken...
and the bad ones are too rotten
i wish someone whom i fallen for so much know me...
yeah i wish she/he knows..
buhahahaha.... bitches like me... i love youu!!! wahaha!!!
let us all go out and dance tonight!!!!
bleahz... ghost hunting trip.. i might not be able to go because 'Wellness or Larry'
said that it's full =\ awww..... i wanna go with them well at least i'll cry or shout out there then trembling at home..
hahaha sorry about yesterday.. i couldn't play well because i don't really wanted to play... i just wanna see all of you play.. since i'm the odd number.. haha
thanks abang for asking me if i have cash... yups i have :D
i'm a fucking rich bitch :X
hahaha i'm the shoping queenie :X
bleahz as if... i hate today... wish tonight will let me forget about the past... SOMEONE DRESS UP WTH ME.... SO WE CAN GET 1 JUG FREE!!! LONG ISLAND LOR
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
8:28 AM
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/ Thursday, June 23, 2005
DUN WAN ME TO GO OUT WITH YOU ALL SAY LA. KNN
MAKE ME GO OUT AND COME HOME, WILD GOOSE CHASE SIBEI SONG SIBO?
KNN.
YOU KNOW YOU ALMOST WASTED MY MONEY TAKING TAXI?
HENG I SMART TO TAKE TRAIN. IF NOT YOU WILL RETURN ME THE MONEY LOR
KNN BLUFF ME AH? GO OUT EAT SEOUL GARDEN? EAT FOOD WHY MUST SILENT PHONE?
CALL YOU BOTH ALSO DUN ANSWER PHONE CONFIRM IS WATCH INITIAL D LE MA.. YOU THINK I'M SO DUMB SIBO? KNN
I HATE YOU ALL LOR CHEAT MY FEELINGS AS A FIREND OR SISTER OR BROTHERS...
I HAD IT WITH YOU ALL LOR
I NEVER COME SCH CAN DUN JIO ME OUT LOR, FINE LOR
DUN EVEN BOTHER TO SMS ME LOR
FINE WITH IT.
THE MOST SUAY SUAY THING WILL BE I BITCH UNTILL CRY NIA LOR
KNN YOU THINK I CAN BE ABUSED AND TAKE FOR GRANTED SIBO?
CB... I HATE YOU ALL LOR.
ESP THOSE WHO CHEAT MY FRIENDSHIP AND FEELINGS DE.
YOU SHOULD (FUCKING) KNOW WHO YOU ARE LOR
KNN THOUGHT TODAY CAN GO OUT HAPPILY
PUI LA CB...
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
12:27 PM
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/ Wednesday, June 22, 2005
heh, everything is solved now... so no more quarrels...
anyways... tomorrow's class sucks... it'll be at 12pm to 5pm =
i'm starting to like the idea of e-learning at home :D
i like the idea very much!!! haha!!! shoik lor!!!!
wish i had a lap-top to show off :P
moi new billabong wallet rocks to the core!!! thanks to Willam!!!
didn't so cell group today cos i was very very tired..
i slept the whole time till now :P
hahah head hurts~~
oh ya... one thing... PS tio Fire...
haha i have teleportation powers :P
i flew there and came back :P
bah... N90 still rocks :P
sorry for bitching... i guess i bitched a little too much :X
hahaha planing to buy the nice nice bag~~~ so chio!!! but i scared later people say i out of FASHION! pui... wad people say must forget..
remember your life not thiers they can't control you...
so wear what u think it fits you best..
haha..
i'm so going to buy the bag and bring it to school when i grab one... haha
either moi dad knows or not oso dun care :X planning to tell him that i go dancing at Sparks de..
hahaha
thursday? maybe go out with u guys bah :X
haha...
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
12:41 AM
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/ Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Sigh, I'm abused just today, sigh... shout at me lor... fine... you bad mood and aim me..
never mind... i don't ask how are you next time... care as brother or sister also cannot. sigh... fine lor..
up to you... i'm alright with this..
i'll be keeping thing to myself sinceyou don't even care or giving me that kind of looks..
yeah... i'm De Drama guy, haha..
don't ask me how i feel, my r/s with friend or family dropped,
everything dropped my marks, r/s or even happiness..
i wish you know how i feel.
i hate myself more now.
blame it on me.
You girl, don't care about me anymore don't even bother to ask my friend how am i, i don't wanna be spied on, even if she say you care for me i still won't even bother to say thanks, you broke my heart, i'll never fall for your kind anymore.
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
9:40 AM
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maybe u guys are right... maybe i'm not good in every kind of r/s... till now any one i fond is ether taken or don't take fancy of me... kinda hurt my feels but i admit it...
i'm deeply hurt by this... but i'll take it as a charge... for my past doing... sigh... maybe someone cursed me...
haha... even someone i missed don't miss me... even someone i like alot is treated like a friend... today i saw aL and kyo patch again.. i feel so happy for them... i envy them... i wish my r/s will be or was like that...
i hated myself in this world... why am i born poor and weak? why can't i be like them... all rich and healthy... sigh..
i take that as a revenge for my past doing in my past life..
i treated everyone fairly... but why does this happen to me?
even when i'm in a depressed mode... i drink also might lose someone i love or like very much..
sigh..
today playing pool sucks...
daniel sad, rose sad and i also sad for making such a disappointment either for losing or for being anti-social...
i don't know...
maybe i'm just not really welcomed or is it that i just have to start a communication first.. i dunno... sigh... let's just wish that i'll be freed by the bitchings and suanings... i miss my old days where everyone is friends...
sigh... my and my old life. PUI
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
1:41 AM
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/ Sunday, June 19, 2005
some of you might be glad that i won't be clubbing for the rest of this few months... yeah.. i was very depressed... sorry about the hugging.. haha.. i needed some distraction from somone... because he has been looking at me for some times.. haha..
anyways... i was pretty upset that my dad misunderstood me..
and now he grounded me..
and said all the bad stuff to me..
i kinda regret saying what i said about him just now.. but WHO CARES? SERVER HIM RIGHT :"X
i didn't sleep.. i cried..
i didn't talk and move about..i just plug my earpiece onto my comp and listen to songs that can hurt my ears for sure.. so i cannot hear him nagging and cursing me..
my tear keep coming back.. whenever i think of what he say to me..
my should and spine get chills and start thinking rot... and then... tears squeze through my eyes and start dropping... scary.. sigh..
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
8:26 AM
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i wish you ddin't make me angry... you even admit that you want me to get out of your life..
fine... i'll do that.. soon.. when i have someone to stay with i'll never ask you or call you..
i'll leave you alone. don't even regret saying that..
and if she knows about this i know she'll be very disappointed too..
and even now is suppose to be a day i say somthing to you... but why should i? i mean... how did you hurt my feelings? u ask yourself... u made me sigh.. u made me breatless... u even make me tear behind everyone... who i love also dunno... i dun even know who love me... i swear... i'll go for operation... go operate my eyes.
so i don't even need your precious money to buy lens or anything...
i'll spend my own money... even buy my own car... since u said u dun wan me to live with you in my house when i get married..... or even so... i hope i'll do what i say... even i'm typing this with tear.. i'll never forget what you say to me today... just because of money you treat this to me..
fine... when i get a job i'll never touch your money.. or even ask from you... even when i die... i'll put in my will that i'll never accept any help or money from you... don't even think of helping my family... i don't need your help...
i just hope that you'll regret what you said to me...
i wish i die at this point...
i wish i had blog since young..
so i write about my life as your son.
and show everyone how "great" you are to me and the family..
i'm deeply depressed by this... i long knew u want me dead... now you finally admit it..
you don't even know how my feeling or even what i like..
you just see me wear this for the week and you think i like it...
NO! I WEAR THAT TO SHOW THAT I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU/I BUY.
NO! I EAT IT BECAUSE I WANNA.
YES! I NEED YOUR ATTENTION, BUT YOU DON'T EVEN CARE. DO YOU?!
I HATE YOU NOW.
I WISH YOU WERE THE FATHER I ONCE KNEW... THE HELPFUL ONE..
NOT THE FUCKING PLAYBOY AND VULGAR.
I WISH I HAD A OPERATION TO FORGET EVERYTHING
SO I CAN LIVE ONCE AGAIN WITH NO HATRED AND SADNESS.
I WANTED TO SAY HAPPY ... DAY.
BUT FORGET IT, I'LL NEVER SAY IT TO YOU.
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
2:45 AM
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/ Friday, June 17, 2005
hehe... i'm back into business :P haha... someone got a modeling agent le worz... too bad... no media peoples to call me... *me await by the phone day and night*
haha yeahx... i'm off to meet the sistas later :P couldn't sleep la... thinking of ltr and such :P i kept hearing voices... haha... strange lor :P
haha... later might be meeting moi god bro for lunch... then go shopping :P hehe..
shopping good :P me not racist... i'm not action kind de..
moi mouth maybe rough lor..
but i dun intend to do that.. sometimes :P
haha... *u gotta know that... when i say break up i'm not even sure i'm doing it right..
sigh... you're going thailand soon... i maybe won't be seeing you anymore because of school..
sigh..
i kinda got over moi phone thingy le..
moi pimples lessening... haha... just hope that i get into the media and do a good show
after that i'll continue moi studies and moi like :D
i hope i get to save up more money to buy better phone and MORE BILLABONG STUFF :D
sigh... dun be sad.. not i dunwanna love *u it's that... maybe this is the first time for me to love someone then someone loving me..
i've been loved... not opposite.. yeah... u gotta know... i had hard times with many things...
yeah..
clubbing?
yeah i do club... rarely la... hahah... drinking? yeah i do drink... but i'm trying to drink lesser... os i won't get drunk easily...
smoke? NO! I DUN!
more BILLABONG? YEAH YEAH!!!! GIMME ALL!!
scandal?? like ICE and others?? no lor.. it's just a joke... plus they are straight! :X
relationship? i dunno if thats really called one ba... just getting depression because i dunno how to how someone yet... like the real me that have to love someone..
sex? erm no... relationship first... sex, after marriage...
work? hopefully acting or singing...
food? i dunno... fish or crab?? STING RAYS!
sistas dun fight la... i know this sucks... yeah... bitching sucks.... i hate bitching... sorry if i did lolxxx
buai.... typing at a dark living room :D
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
10:47 AM
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/ Monday, June 13, 2005
sigh..
i dunno... don't ask me... i'm not avoiding..
i'm just tired... tired of all my mother and dad's nagging... i need someone to comfort me.. i need a house to hide.. so my family dunno why am i and assume i die... but... i'll miss them... even the loved ones... sigh... i so long to have a nice relationship... but why always mine turn out to be sad... every time my ending of the story will be sad.. lost of phone lost of everything.... i hate myself... i wish i can get into the media soon and forget the past... and stress myself with more work and studies... then get my own house... my own life... no dad to fight with.. no mum to disappoint...
no bgf to bother... no enemy to hate... no friends to fight with... nolazing off my ass on the comp... i hate myself... why am i wso irresponsible... lost my phone loved one... sister.... granddad... uncle... and so many whom loved me and cares for me... always ask before knowing what to deal with me...
my dad... irresponsible... he scolds me for nothing and hope to throw me to my mum's.
my mum, work is first. health second... family third... i'm a loser..
my bgr.. sucks.. i'm very dissapointing.
my life.. let me be a actor and die from too much stress from acting.... jump down from the 10th storey...
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
11:24 PM
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/ Saturday, June 11, 2005
can't my dad be who i wanna be?!
i wanna wear that "tight" formal shirt cannot meh.
kns... i hate my life... can't do what i want... sigh...
I MISS MY PHONE AND MY OLD FRIENDS.
i cannot belive what happened in the chalet... not going to details.... embaressing.
good night. i'm sleeping
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
12:36 AM
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/ Wednesday, June 08, 2005
haha..
today funniest days....
went to meet aL for mediacrop thingy :P but she went looking for Model Searcher(s)
hehe... i tio "cornered" and ended up paying a "saman" list lolssss stupid lor...
oh ya... about the mediacorp thingy... it's scary... but enjoyable...... experienced leh!! :X
i love the audition :X although it's not really i like de :X :P
hehe... after that me and aL went back to PS... then i eat BK... after that...
then send aL to take her train home while i went back to find moi own friends..
hang with them till late then go home :X
well.... we went eating... went drinking gassy drinks... then after that... HAHA... POOLING
i saw someone attracting.. :X hehe..
a pic moi friend took with moi phone... it's a very nice picture... of this guy posing :X haha...
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
3:06 AM
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/ Monday, June 06, 2005
=\ boring day...
wne t out to eat with mummy, first, second and grandmummy, to eat jack's place.. cool la... after eating everyone went shopping except me... i have to rush to Plaza Sing...
went to meet boon, aL, Cherry, thomas and yilong... went to interview... after that we slack for 30 mins then go back home for me and aL.. the rest go bedok... haha... stewpig... i dunno wad to do la...
ever since that day i totally got moodless... i dunno why la..
aL told me about e 'Hai You Ming Tian 3' Audition... asking for kids around 14 to 18... must be big sister and young brother "relationship" yeah... me wanna go... hopefully we can get into it ba... hehe... i wanna act leh :X
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
6:53 PM
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/ Saturday, June 04, 2005
sigh... cough like mad still go out...
go out watch movie with aL, Cherry and Thomas... went out to watch 'Cursed' got no logic... no story line =\ quite stupid...
dad say i sabo-ed him about some stupid letter i never did anything lor.
sorry sweetie... i can't fight or quarrel with you.... i'm too sick to talk or sms you... i rather talk to you online...
fine... yesterday i went to SENTOSA to tann.... before that i gave my temper at sweetie..
okay... after at night... went out to eat... but ended up going to Maxwell again... i almost quarreled with Jaspher...
had a strange dream dunno what to do..
WN.. sigh.. i coughed and coughed inside... how to dance...
i'm off to church now..
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
2:46 PM
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/ Wednesday, June 01, 2005
heh.... sorry la sweetie.... i know i'm not going clubbing~~
but hehe... today called you and wanted o see you mahzzz then they chabok (almost) without me~
hehe... i chased them back lorz~~
hahaha.... followed them go play pool... in the end i just sit and slack there~~~
beri long worzzzz they some horny le.... i was laughing all e way :X
after all this we went to eat... hehe... talking about many things... (RA*) discovery channel LOL
then learn new move to shoot people without hurting them...
know a few new friends who are steading each other... and they looked like moi age.. haha..
really sickie lazzzzz moi fac burning..
really heaty.... as if moi adam's apple wanna pop out from moi mouth...
hehe..
got heavy nightmare today... dun really remeber like last time... all i know is i keep waking up and breathing heavily~~
hehe...
tired lazzzzz IRC people some cool~~
saw that bloody Missing Show by Channel 5...
somemore on the bus till end sia..
sae IRC made someone gone missing... from 1999 till now still cannot find....
szae he still alive.. name ish dunno wad Jackson or Jetson de la.... lives in sengkang... that time sengkang still under constructions lorz... so many think he's being foul play or kidnaped...
but i think his touge maybe kanna cut.. if not why dun talk on phone... some more borrow from some strange guy..
horrigible... if me hor at least i'll utter a speech... make a noise then they know i'm still alive..
sigh... pity him lahz... but how?? dead or alive still no one knows.... sigh...
/now that you are done reading, any comments?
3:34 AM
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